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People who pretend to be monogamist, is my topic on this week’s “Bleeding Heart Chronicles”. Good morning, love. A lady and I spoke on this very subject over the weekend. She commented that she believed that monogamy did not exist. As I went to go defend this subject I realized that I didn’t exactly believe it existed either or at the very least it’s a very rare thing. In the last 4 years I cannot name one person whom I know personally that was loyal. None of my relationships or any of my friends relationships fit this description. Every single person that I know of, has been cheated on at least once if not multiple times. So people claim they are in a monogamist relationship, but in the shadows, they practice betrayal. Because it’s more important to give the illusion of normalcy to the public then to admit truth to the person you are with.
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That is the key. What does everyone else see? Not what it really is. Go to work. Go to church. Be involved in community events. Appear in public with family. The illusion of the perfect life. Behind closed doors, you barely talk to your wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend. And in the private times of your life you are intimate with another person. Yes even at your work. Never have I known so many, having affairs right at the job they work at, and during business hours. Unbelievable! And then have the audacity to point fingers at others who live differently and call them the Monsters! At least those that live the Swingers, polyamorous, open life are honest with their partner. How are you any better when you lie and betray, yet pretend to be monogamist? Just because you give the illusion in public? Because you refuse your reality? Because you go to church every Sunday or a leader in church, gives you a pass on loyalty?? Then, you are the very one who points fingers at others in disgust. Really? You may fool others with your performance, but not me. Make no mistake, I’m not against monogamy! I’m saying many hide behind the cover of it and don’t practice what they preach.
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Monogamy can be hard work for some people. I don’t think it applies to everybody, and I don’t think a lot of people can do it. It definitely demands a kind of rigor and discipline and selflessness. So does it work? 73% of people in a monogamist relationship lie and cheat on their partner. Of the 73%, 98% continue to cheat on that partner and the next partner and the next and the next…
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Listen to me carefully. I take no sides in what kind of relationship you chose nor do I judge. What is between a couple is their business and no one else. If you are in a monogamist relationship then you deserve to have the Truth and loyalty and should expect nothing less. A single lie destroys a whole reputation of integrity. Our greatness is not in our wealth or power, but in character. People are just people. We all have faults and shortcomings, but all of us are born with basic goodness. And integrity is a choice!!!! If you have your integrity, be prepared to take a beating from those who have none. Monogamy may be in short supply. But do not give up on your dream of obtaining it and never settle for less then what you want or deserve. In a relationship, honesty and trust MUST exist. If they don’t, there is no point of loving. If your partner can’t afford to be honest with you, then you can’t afford them the time of day.
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When the dark clouds of betrayal enters your relationship and leaves you crying and hurt. Do not regret loving that person. At least they were lucky enough to experience the love you had for them. Feel sorry they wasted it. Do not be afraid to cut them loose. The only people you owe your loyalty to are those that NEVER made you question theirs. We of like minds support you. We are the ones that will stand with you and hold you when you need a hug. Together we will part the clouds and let the light shine through. Because Together we are unstoppable, my love! WE will master our relationships! Always and forever!
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Niklaus Corvinus Moroi
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