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People who are Narcissist, is my topic on this week’s “Bleeding Heart Chronicles”. Good morning, love. I recently spoke to a couple of women about this subject. They Both believed the person in their life was a narcissist. This subject is near and dear to my heart. I have had a couple of women who were just that very thing. Narcissism falls along the axis of what psychologists call personality disorders, one of a group that includes antisocial, dependent, histrionic, avoidant and borderline personalities. Narcissism is one of the worst, if only because the narcissists themselves are so clueless. These people not only destroy your life but erode your self esteem and do it with skill and stealth. They convince you that your emotional reactions to their abuse is the problem. Rather then the abuse itself. You should never feel compelled to explain the basic principles of common courtesy to an adult.
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But a lot of people misunderstand what narcissism is. Watch for both extremely positive and extremely negative words, about you or others. Most of time they lead with positive to draw you in. Words like this. I’ve never met someone as great as you are! You are my everything! No one has treated you as good as I will treat you. And my favorite. You are my soul mate, after only dating a short time. It’s like fireworks have gone off, it’s the best drug. You feel so high in their presence, their charisma sucks you in. Once they’ve hooked you in, bad behavior creeps in, just little signs at first. Red Flags that WE choose to ignore!! If you question them, they make excuses and tell you why it’s not their fault. It’s something you’ve done. The relationship starts down hill. Meanwhile you are still holding onto the person you thought they were. Those good times and memories are gone my dear. It was never real. Their backstabbing and smear campaign is their gift to you, that just keeps on giving. Narcissist regularly provoke people and then blame them for the conflict. They never admit any wrong.
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People who intensely and endlessly flatter you are often not who they seem. Sometimes you find out that the monster you thought was under your bed has been sleeping beside you the whole time. Never feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. You never have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. If a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go. Stop holding onto the person who has let go of you. The person you thought was you’re happily ever after was really your once upon a time. A healthy relationship does not drag you down, it inspires you to become better. One day someone will walk into your life and you will know why it never worked with anyone else.
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When the storms of abusive relationships and insecure people bring you to your knees. Do not be afraid to stand up and defend yourself against theses people. Tell Them to STOP asking you to trust them, while you’re still coughing up water from the last time they let you drown! As you regain confidence in yourself, red flags are no longer red flags, they are deal breakers. We of like minds stand with you. We are the ones holding the umbrella over your head trying to shelter you from the storm. And together we are unstoppable, my love! WE will master the storms! Always and forever!
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Niklaus Corvinus Moroi
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