Dealing With Unrealistic Expectations

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Dealing with Unrealistic Expectations, is my topic on this week’s “Bleeding Heart Chronicles”. Good morning, love. I was speaking to someone close to me the other day and we were talking about how a mutual friend of ours was always unhappy. I had observed the reason was because they always had very high and unrealistic expectations. This can lead to many difficult situations, including being miserable for the rest of your life. [gap size=”8px”] There is a saying, I find amusing. “Expectations are premeditated resentments”. How true!! I’ve seen so many people setting themselves up for failure and disappointment over simply expecting something to happen that never does. I see people use Faith in the same way. How many times do you hear someone say I’ll wait till the right one comes along. If you take no action, there will be no action. And merely expecting something to happen will Not make it happen. Do not confuse faith or positive thinking for Magical Thinking! I call it Magical thinking when we expect something to happen without good reasons for that event to happen. Can I wish a bottle of water into my hand? Simply because I’m thirsty and want water? That’s delusional! I must actually walk to my refrigerator or go to a place that has water. I must take action. So why do we simply expect so many things to happen on their own. [gap size=”8px”] Another great example. You plan a birthday party for a loved one. You decorate, you invite people, you cook. You run around getting everything just right. Everything seems to fall into place. Yet the loved one doesn’t really seem to enjoy the party. Now you’re disappointed, and sad. Then you start to feel very upset. All the planning for nothing. No appreciation. But what if that loved one was simply having a bad day and the party just didn’t lift their spirits. Or only half the people showed up to the party and you feel it was ruined by lack of attendance. You could argue and justify your expectations and say you deserve appreciation for what you did. So was the reason you planned the party to receive appreciation? So what am I saying. I’m saying when you do something for someone, never expect anything back. Do it because you want to. Do it because it’s simply who you are. [gap size=”8px”] As human beings we tend to construct stories in our heads about expectations of each other. The problem is the other person has a hard time living up to your expectations, especially when nothing was ever discussed. Where do we get the sense of power to think that others should behave the way we want them to? And how do we justify getting angry at other people when they fail to meet our expectations? If I realize I can’t magically make a bottle of water appear in my hands and not get mad at myself. How can I get mad that the person that walked to the refrigerator didn’t bring me back a bottle of water? [gap size=”8px”] How do we balance our expectations? If you go into the hospital for surgery and the doctor says, you are gonna experience a lot of pain. You’re gonna be nervous and anxious. After the surgery, you feel very little pain at all. You are so happy. You’re even bragging about how well everything is. You may even love your doctor. But, what if the doctor says you’ll experience no pain. After the surgery, you feel a little pain. Now you’re upset. You wasn’t supposed to feel pain. You complain a lot. This was a bad experience. You hate your doctor. He’s a liar!! We are amusing creatures, indeed. But we see how our expectations affect us in our life. It affects our reactions and even our moods. [gap size=”8px”] And this is one reason why when I meet someone in person who wants to be my friend, I tell them I’m dark, I’m imperfect and I’m a monster. Yes, I’m amusing myself. But that gets the person to look for the worst in me first, instead of the good. That way there’s no surprises or disappointments. Because as humans, we expect people to be perfect and good. And truly, that is delusional on so many levels. And the reason why so many people become disappointed and miserable in their lives. [gap size=”8px”] We live in a world of high expectations. But, you are Not in this world to live up to others expectations. Neither are they here to live up to yours. Isn’t it funny how others seem to have a clear idea of how you should live your life, but can’t seem to manage their own. Never let someone else’s expectations guide your life. You are the master of your life and expectations. I stand with you. I bleed with you. We will pursue a brighter day in our life. We will overcome expectations that impede our happiness. Because Together we are unstoppable, my love! WE will be overcome expectations! Always and forever!

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