Dealing with Insecure people, is my topic on this week’s “Bleeding Heart Chronicles”. Good morning, love. This topic was requested by a lady who is dealing with a insecure boyfriend. Seems he became so insecure that he was unable to deal with other men looking at her. And of course this has put a strain on the relationship. People who become insecure can become angry and they will lash out. It is easy to provoke a person who is insecure. An Insecure person will hear a statement, apply it to themselves, and if it happens to be something they’re insecure about, they’ll become very offended and things will spiral downward from there. But there is more going on underneath all of this posturing that I want us to explore.
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Being very insecure belongs in the neurotic personality disorder. Neuroticism is defined as a tendency towards anxiety, self-doubt, depression, shyness, and other similar negative feelings. However, as you read theses you may realize everyone can fit into any of these signs and may be a little neurotic to some degree. And that is true. We all experience these negative feelings at some point in our life. In fact Neuroticism belongs to what Psychologist call The Big 5. It is a five-factor model to evaluate what are believed to be five core traits, of an individual’s personality. Theses 5 traits include openness to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion-introversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. As broad as Neuroticism is, it can spill into other personality disorders such as Narcissism. And you thought Narcissist couldn’t get any worse? But that’s a different subject. The concept of a person being overly insecure can lead back to being ingrained with this trait as a child. This not only affects their fitting in as a child but also their adult relationships in the future.
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The people in our life who are insecure can make life tough for us and those around them. In relationships, they constantly need reassurance that they’re loved. They have a burning desire to make themselves feel superior because they feel violently inferior. At work, if you can perform a task in an hour, they can do it in 20 minutes. In sports or dance recitals, they are the parent who needs their child to outperform all other children. On Face Book, they are the ones posting content to put others down in an attempt to gain attention, validation or a way of fitting in. As a friend, you may find yourself constantly defending yourself or actions to them.
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There are 7 things an insecure person will do that will destroy their own lives. And if you are part of their life they can take you down with them.
1. They live in fear of judgement.
2. They avoid meeting new people.
3. They don’t believe they’re good enough.
4. They’re not true to themselves.
5. They live in a world with denial.
6. They don’t trust others.
7. They look for the worst.
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Clearly an overly insecure person is not an ideal mate. You will spend a majority of your time dealing with drama and hurt feelings. However, if you are set on sticking it out with that person, you’ll need a plan on dealing with their insecurity. An insecure person may attack you if you interrupt their rant, but the affect behind their attack may be anxiety and not anger. Allow them to express their feelings without interruption. Listen and show you’re interested in their view with compassion. Do not challenge their accuracy on subjects even if they are clearly wrong. It’s not about allowing a lie but more of not provoking a heated exchange that will never end or get you anywhere. Use your body language to reinforce your sensitivity to the insecure person’s feelings with non-threatening movements. Helping the insecure person you care about, on a regular basis can produce positive change in the long run. Short term, you’ll experience a roller coaster ride of emotions.
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When insecure people come into our lives, they often behave aggressively and erratically. Their actions can shake their emotions, as well as ours to it’s very core. Whether you are dealing with a insecure person or insecure yourself, the effect can have a negative impact on your health. So do not let insecure people or your own insecurity weigh you down. A happy, vibrate and exciting future awaits you beyond the negative voices in your mind. Push beyond the guilt, doubt, fear, shame, insecurity and energy draining past you may carry with you. Live in the light of a new day and a better you. Never deny your true emotions. Acknowledge it’s effect on you, and grow from it. I stand with you. I feel pain with you. I bleed with you. And Together, we will rise above insecurity. We will pursue our happiness and balance in our life. Because Together we are unstoppable, my love! WE will master insecurity! Always and forever!and forever!
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˜Bleeding Heart Chronicles˜ ©
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Lord Freakzilla is a passionate and resourceful creative writer, experienced in studies of human behavior and psychology. His articles for “Bleeding Heart Chronicles “ is fueled by his compassion for the broken hearted. He also brings to the table his gothic poetry style for “Dark Rose Poems” series.
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