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Dating in 2019 Part 2, is my topic on this week’s “Bleeding Heart Chronicles”. Good morning, love. This is the continuation of Part 1, I did a couple of weeks ago. If you haven’t checked it out, you should do so. I’m not going to waste any time. So let’s dive right in to where I left off. [gap size=”8px”] As I mentioned in my previous Article of Dating in 2019. There is a lack of respect between men and women of today. I can actually trace the disconnect of our society back to the year 2001, which is when I believe it started. Now I won’t get into the events that lead to this disconnect, because it’s complicated and I’d get side tracked. (Maybe that becomes another Article…Maybe). But take a good look around. Whether you look locally or on social media. Never has our society been so out of touch, rude and hateful towards each other. Of course this attitude trickles down into how men and women will treat each other. But there’s never just one thing. [gap size=”8px”] So digging deeper I found a study that was done on dating statistics. It was called The lopsided Dating pool. There are four women for every three men. Leaving men in no rush to settle down because they have more choices and more women giving up on “playing hard to get.” This has changed how men and women date. Another study done to show desirability in dating of the genders also shows a lopsided lean. For women, it showed that a woman’s desirability peaks at 21. But, at 26, women have more pursuers than men whereas, at 48, men have twice as many pursuers as women. One analyst called it “musical chairs” of the heart. Now I think you can draw your own conclusions on how this plays out. If you are a younger woman or an older man, you have your choices. And it’s true, there are more older men with much much younger women today then before. But honestly, how realistic is this set up for long term? [gap size=”8px”] What you end up with on both sides is not just disappointment. It’s unrealistic expectations. Which leads to even more disappointments. Until both sides are just bitter. There are men, and there are women, saying they give up. But obviously they don’t really want to, or they wouldn’t be posting every day there bitterness online for all to see. We need for both genders to come together to engage in a conversation and figure out how we put things back together. But, that’s in a perfect world! I could fix this problem right now. Yes. Right now. How about everyone be completely open and honest with each other? Just spill the truth. No mind games. No guessing. Just….. oh sorry. That would require some kind of mystical Magic to happen. So no Perfect world. No mystical Magic. I guess Fairy Tales and unicorns are out too! [gap size=”8px”] Sadly, for many, the dating world is a venture rife with disappointment and disillusionment. But for others, it can lead to a lifelong partnership. Even the most confident daters are not immune to the negative effects of dating. The fatigue and hurt of rejection, can lead to a negative effect on psychological and emotional well-being. The most damaging and harmful effect is the way a person sees their self-worth. Not to mention the effect of online dating. But that is a separate Article in itself. On top of that, you factor in our intolerance of love. That’s right. Love doesn’t just fade, sometimes we push it away. But that is established in our early unique childhood experiences. And that is a separate Article too. [gap size=”8px”] So, how can we make this simple? It’s the attitude that most go into dating with. Men now describe women as “manipulative” and will lie to get their way. Women say men “are only interested in sex,” and will lie to get their way. When you are starting off with these prejudices, against each other, how can you seriously expect to EVER meet a potential partner? Yes, things are bad. But the change starts with ourselves. So, I’ll leave you with a few things to try. [gap size=”8px”] Be realistic. Most dates will not result in a second date. Like interviewing for a job, doesn’t lead to immediate results. And not finding someone over a long period does not imply that there is anything wrong with you. I’ve always said a first date should be brief, meeting for a drink. If you don’t know this person, then there is no reason to waste a lot of time. But you should allow the opportunity for talking and getting to know this person. No movies and no loud places. Do not decide in the first few minutes if the person is unsuitable. There was a study done on married couples and what they first thought of the person they married. It found a little more then 20% did not like them initially. So, allow for the possibility of you changing your mind. The trick, in life, is to have a good time while you are waiting for something to happen. Be open to different people and different kinds of experiences. [gap size=”8px”] So, if you are armed with knowledge and realistic expectations, it is possible to avoid some of the pitfalls that lead to compromising your self-esteem and emotional well-being. It’s been said Lasting love is real, but it takes a real self-aware person to be a worthy partner. Become that person and you’ll attract that person as well. If you are interested in more dating, online dating or intolerance of love information just let me know in the comments below. I’ll leave you with two very interesting sayings from – Henry Cloud. “Dating is a give and take. If you only see it as “taking,” you are not getting it.” and “Dating is about finding out who you are and who others are. If you show up in a masquerade outfit, neither is going to happen.” As always. I stand with you. I bleed with you. We will pursue a brighter day and happiness in our life. We will overcome this dating thing. Because Together we are unstoppable, my love! WE will be that strong individual that this world needs! Always and forever![image src=”http://bleedingheartchronicles.lordfreakzilla.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/hr-Bleeding-heart3.png” alt=”HeartHR”]
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Lord Freakzilla is a passionate and resourceful creative writer, experienced in studies of human behavior and psychology. His articles for “Bleeding Heart Chronicles “ is fueled by his compassion for the broken hearted. He also brings to the table his gothic poetry style for “Dark Rose Poems” series.